Over the last couple of months I've developed a huge interest in Quantum and Metaphysics and it's totally taken me by surprise. I didn't try particularly hard at school. In infant school I was very obviously bright and got high marks on pretty much any test they could throw at me. By the time I got to high school I'd lost interest and spent a lot of time lounging around in the bus station cafe and generally getting up to mild mischief. I wasn't a criminal unless you count underage smoking, drinking and the odd bit of sex (oh, and not going to school when I was supposed to!) and I left home two days after I left school with a grand total of 6 qualifications - Four 16+/O-Levels and two CSEs - I was in the last year before GCSEs started.
I also hated science.
I did everything I could think of to get out of it, and when I discovered that taking Geology meant I'd have one less PE lesson a week (I hated that too!) I jumped at the chance - I also managed to convince the teachers that I should be allowed to drop Biology since I was now taking another "ology", and I got my own way. I do love getting my own way!!
So yeah, it came as a massive surprise when I watched a video on Quantum theory a few weeks ago and discovered that I totally understood what they were talking about! Everyone's always said it's really complicated so I've never bothered even looking. Just goes to show, don't take anybody else's word for anything - find out for yourself! It's a big interest of mine now, and I get a bit obsessed with it in my head sometimes, thinking about parallel universes and how all of our lives are interwoven without us really thinking about it - and sometimes without even knowing!
The Men In Black theme tune popped up on my iPod shuffle one morning in October while I was standing outside smoking. It was a beautiful sunny day, and I was watching a couple of birds flying around in a bright sky when something caught my eye. As I turned to my left, a man came around the corner wearing a black overcoat and dark sunglasses! I did an actual LOL, and as he passed me I told him about the MIB song being his theme tune. He laughed with me, and as he carried on to wherever he was going, I shouted "thanks for defending the galaxy, keep up the good work!" and carried on chuckling to myself long after he'd disappeared. You wouldn't believe how often my shuffle played wholly appropriate and/or hilarious songs on a daily basis, but that's a subject for a blog if I ever get around to setting one up.
Yesterday I decided to watch the original Men In Black again, in line with the theme of watching films from years ago and rethinking what they mean to me. I don't have the DVD - at least, I don't think I do, and it was far easier to look on YouTube on my phone (which I can then play through my TV! That's pretty cool) and I found it on there. I got myself organised with a drink and something to eat, and then settled down to watch it. At first I was a bit annoyed to find it was MIB3 that I'd found, but as I'd only seen it once before (and I'd been a bit stoned at the time!) I decided I'd have another look.
Oh, how pleased am I that I did?? As I say, my quantum obsession is in it's absolute infancy. I couldn't explain much more than Schrodinger's Cat (and I might struggle to explain even that concept just yet) but I've grasped the basics of waves, and now I want to devour as much information as I can. It also runs right through the centre of the story of MIB3. Hoorah!!
I'm now watching it for the 3rd time since it was released, and writing this as I do. I'll waffle on a LOT, so get yourself a snack and a drink and have a little wander around the beautiful and colourful randomness that is my mind. Make yourself at home! There are a lot of articles popping into my various feeds at the moment which point the reader towards The Matrix and 1984 as being relevant to the way things are in the world right now, so I guess that's the perspective I'm looking at these movies from - and needless to say, I haven't seen or read either of the above... Yeah, yeah, I'll get round to it!
The film opens in a high security prison, and Nicole Sherzinger has great boobs. I'm sure she knows it too, which is why I have no objection to the blatant cleavage shot within a few seconds of the opening titles - why wouldn't she want you to look at them?! She's come to visit the maximum security prisoner, Boris the Animal ("It's just Boris!!") with the ubiquitous escape plan in a cake. It does make a huge point that she disappears within a few minutes of having served her purpose of looking beautiful and giving Boris what he wants, but hey, this is about metaphors, and that's a very relevant one to the female audience. It'd be really great if everyone took note though, because we should be neither giving nor receiving that kind of treatment. (Told you I'm a preacher! Don't say I didn't warn you, it's right there in the first sentence!!)
"Let's re-write history, shall we K?"
Ooh yes, let's!!
History is written by the victors, we all know that. Wars are fought because leaders convince the people that the opponents want to take their freedom. Both sides think they're in the right. That's how wars begin and history books come into being. We're only ever told one side, so we just blindly believe what we're told, because it's in the books. Then came the Internet. All sides of the story are being told - yes, "all" sides. Every person sees their own version of events. Ten people at one event will all tell slightly different stories because no two of them were looking at exactly the same thing at exactly the same time. So every version of the story is actually true, it's just that each person noticed different instances that made up the whole event. This is where I start to head down the rabbit hole, so I'll leave that there for now - find your own rabbit hole if you like!
The reason I wanted to watch MIB in the first place was because of Orion's belt. That concept of a galaxy in that tiny little ball on a dog's collar has stayed with me since I first saw the original. I suppose you could say I've been thinking about metaphysics for a lot longer than I *think* I've been thinking about it, I just didn't know what it was called. This video is actually a really good one to demonstrate perspective perfectly - The Known Universe by AMNH
"Good afternoon. Please give your attention to my associate, Agent J. He's going to demonstrate an Electro-Biomechanical-Neuro-Transmitting-Zero-Synapses-Repositioner, we call it the Neuralizer"
First I'm going to demonstrate what a rubbish geek I am... Whenever I've sung along with the theme tune, I've always called it a Normaliser. Same thing really though, because that particular metaphor relates to MainStream Media. I've capitalised it like that so I can just refer to it as MSM from now on - no, it's not laziness, it's efficiency!
So yeah, MSM is the Neuralizer. Remember all the footage we watched in 2001 when we were being given the official story of 9/11. That's not a question, of course you remember it - we all do. We all know exactly where we were when that news came through, and how many hours of MSM news we watched. We all "knew" the names of the terrorists who had planned and executed it, and we all agreed that they needed to be stopped. Or most of us did.
In the years since that atrocity, more evidence has been coming to light, casting doubt on the story we'd all been told. There are polls that show more than 50% of Americans no longer believe that a plane could bring down those buildings (and WTC7 wasn't even hit by a plane, why did that fall down??) When you really look into it properly with an open mind, it's impossible to deny that the truth is something far removed from the story we've all been given to believe for all these years. I could list alternative versions for days, but I'll let you do your own research when you feel ready to start questioning. But remember, as K was very fond of saying, "Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to"
The point is, the Neuralizer is used to confuse the citizens, and then they're fed an alternative, sanitised, "it's for your own good" version of events. The MIBs don't want people running around in a panic about all the aliens, so they police them secretly and give people almost rational explanations for everything so that they can carry on with their lives completely oblivious to the dangers around them every day. The MIBs are the "Light Side" of the coin. For every negative, there's a positive!
I had a "nervous breakdown" a couple of months ago. I was off work with depression, and during that time I started to get floods of information. What started off as "what's my life's purpose?" turned into a huge idea that had arms, legs and a beating heart. It grew pretty much everything else as well. It was an all-encompassing idea that had the potential to actually change the world. I've never had so many thoughts and ideas come to me in such a short time, and I tried everything I could to let people know about them.
The problem was, there were too many - it was too big. How do you explain everything you're thinking about when the person you're explaining to is coming in blind? They don't know about every news article you've ever read, or every piece of music you love, or every person in your life and every conversation you've had with each of them, or every film or video you've watched... It's all just too much information, and when you start trying to explain it, your brain jumps around like a ping pong ball to other snippets of relevant information, which you then need to explain, and it all becomes very confusing, very quickly. That's what happens when you fall into the rabbit hole.
There's a little version of this in MIB3 when J is trying to find K at work, but nobody knows who K is. He looks pretty insane in that moment, because he knows he's right, he knows K exists, but nobody around him has a clue what he's talking about. Let me tell you, that's a very confusing and downright scary thing to go through. If anyone in your life becomes manic, and whilst you feel as though they're talking a lot of sense, they're simultaneously making no sense at all, please, be like O.
Agent O: Wait. How long have you been craving chocolate iced dairy products?
Agent J: Just today.
Agent O: Are you experiencing headaches, dizziness, loss of balance?
Agent J: Mmhmm.
Agent O: Agitation, depression?
Agent J: Hell, yeah!
Agent O: There are only two possibilities. One is you've been bitten by the Horbathion brain tick, you could die in horrible agony at any moment.
[suddenly O slaps J hard in the face]
Agent J: Aah!
Agent O: Dammit. It's not the tick.
Agent J: Dammit it's not the tick? There's something worse than the tick?
Agent O: Mm.
Listen to them, ask questions, and be patient. Tell them not to worry, look after their physical needs, let them blabber on about whatever's on their mind, because it's way better than the tick. Above all, please don't slap them - they might slap you back!
I have a theory, and it's backed up by lots of stories online, that "a nervous breakdown" is actually an emotional wake up. It's an Awakening. That's why I got so excited about the Star Wars clip. That flood of information I was (am!) receiving was actually old memories awakening. Memories of my childhood, of everything I've read, the music I've loved, the speeches I've heard, the places I've been, the people I've met.... everything. Everything. All coming back and fitting itself together into the jigsaw that makes up my life so far. I had all the pieces all along, I'd just never put them all together and then taken a step back to look at the bigger picture.
I did start to look in September. I started to listen more too, and everything gets absorbed, then filed away for future reference. It's amazing what I trip over when I'm wandering around in this ever expanding mind of mine - the light's are on, and Sarah is most definitely home! Come on in, it's warm and cosy. There are pretty colours and beautiful pictures, epic romances, heart rending tragedies, and countless miracles. There even stars. Millions and millions of them. Planets, space, shooting stars to order, and if you order them in, I'll come and lie beside you and we can watch the show together. My mind is a rabbit hole, and I do always welcome mad hatters!
So when you feel that your friend or loved one is losing their mind; wonder whether maybe they're not losing their mind, but in fact *finding* it. Watch them grow, trust their instincts, and let them enjoy the journey. They don't need your judgement, they need your love. Remember always, it's not your journey, you don't have to understand it, they just have this undeniable need to tell their story - and who better to tell than someone they love? All you might need to do is make sure the practicalities are attended to - in the words of the great man himself (that's Bob Marley by the way) "Everything's gonna be alright"
Just as a bit of confirmation of this, I used to love my job, and then I didn't. Then I resigned, and the third time I gave them my notice they accepted it. I'm now following my heart, with all the time in the world for thinking and writing - and you lucky souls get an open invitation to the bits I'm willing to show you. Don't worry, I'm very open, you may even find that you get more insight into the workings of Sarah than you'll ever be totally comfortable with. Like I said, this is my world, and I love it here - you don't even have to like it, all I ask is that you're polite about it :)
I've gone from a job, to doing what I want to do, and that makes my heart really happy. There are a lot of things that make my heart smile, and writing is right up there near the very top. Knowing that something I write might reach out and tap someone on the shoulder warms it too. Having them turn around and tell me how it touched them is the icing on the cake. That's the big hug from someone who knows exactly what I'm talking about, and I love it. Truly.
Hugs are free, and always appreciated more than you can know, whatever form they take :)
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